Thursday, October 14, 2010

Expectations


With Rocklyn teething the past few days I have had little time to do anything but comfort my crying angel and it really had me thinking, especially with baby number two on the way. Everyone told me to throw all expectations out the window when it comes to having a baby and I rubbed off this statement as fast as I heard it, thinking "oh another woman wanting to impose on my pregnancy". But of all the things I heard, I have learned that this rang most true. I find it a blessing that I am having this child so close in age to Rocklyn because everything I have learned as a mother is still so fresh. I was the pregnant woman who swore to no end that my child would never ever have a pacifier or even see a television on. Well looking back through the photos of the last nine months of life, my son has that binky in ninety percent of the photos and when he spent the last days upset over his teeth the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse became a great blessing of distraction to him. When your baby is in pain almost nothing will come between you helping them to feel better. It reminds me of the saying "if you want to hear God laugh tell him your plans". It has only been since I had Rocklyn that I have really began to trust in God's plan and not control every action and event that happens. Don't get me wrong. This is still probably one of my biggest struggles because I spent my entire life "in control", or so I thought. But changing the viewpoint to God's control and God's plan instead of my own has made the stress of a second baby a lot less intense. I am so excited to see what God has in store for my life and to hold baby Ryder in one arm and Rocklyn in the other. Two angels with pure, unconditional love for me and vice versa.

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